A Rant.

I kind of have a rant.

Sometimes people (mostly dating and engaged people) are like, "OMG I can't wait to be married because then I will be with my hubby all the time and it will be so great."
Or, alternately (from the same people) I hear something like, "When I get married we're both going to be so busy and will never see each other and it will be so hard, boohoo."


Ok.
Let me first say this. Being married is much better than being dating or engaged because you are finally done with the roommate stage in life, and it is awesome to not have to say "good-night".


Ok.
Once you get married, you will probably see each other less. This is not a joke or an exaggeration. Especially if one or both of you are still in school.
Kyle graduated right before we got married, and soon after got a full-time job at a treatment center. His generally worked the swing shift, which was 3-11pm. He worked one graveyard a week, which was 11pm-7am. And occasionally he would work the day shift, which was 7am-3pm. He worked weekends. He worked occasional Sundays.
I was in school, still, and worked 20 hours a week. So I was generally gone 8am-6pm.
So that was for our first 15 months of marriage.

And then Kyle started graduate school and was gone all hours of the day for classes, practicum, internship, and he worked a few hours a week the second year, too. And I had a management position at my job, so I was working 8am-5pm technically, but was often at work until 6 or 7pm.
And so that was our next 2 years of marriage.

So. Did we see each other a lot? Yes and no. Some days, weeks, months were better. Others we hardly saw each other at all except saying good night, or good morning. Did we survive? Of course we did. THERE IS NOT A CHOICE TO NOT SURVIVE. Just because you are busy doesn't mean your marriage will fail. Just because you are busy doesn't mean you hate each other. You have to do what you have to do to make it work.

Now that Kyle is graduated and I am staying at home - is it easier? ...... Yes and no. It's nice that he has a normal schedule, and it's nice that I can actually be at home during the day to clean and actually make dinner and go grocery shopping. If we were being very technical, I should probably go out and get a job, to help with finances. And if I did that we might see each other less. And there are so many other variables that make things "easier" or "harder". Once our baby comes I will be busier and maybe our house will not be as clean for a while and maybe homemade dinners will become a thing of the past for a while, and all of our attention will be on baby and we will feel like we don't see each other, even though we are spending the same amount of time with each other. Each stage of life has hardships and things to keep you busy and I don't think it ever will get "easier".

Does this rant even make sense? Probably not.
I might revisit this post a little later to make more sense of my ramblings.
But it is what it is right now.

The Grammys

I didn't grow up watching awards shows.

(Let's be honest, I didn't grow up watching anything except PBS.)

So once I was old enough to make my own TV decisions, I often binge on semi-inappropriate shows.

Oh you know, just watch them.

Anyway. I love me some awards shows. Sometimes.

Especially the performances.
That's what I watch for.

(AKA I could care less about crap like the Golden Globes). 

Anyway.

So the Grammys were on last night.

Here are the tweets that went out:

"Maybe if I don't say Taylor Swift's name she'll disappear and I can enjoy the rest of the Grammys."
I really dislike T Swift. And the fact that they ALWAYS show her ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

So.

"But really, Hunter Hayes is adorable."

He sang this real sweet song about how life won't always suck as a teenager. He didn't do too great on vocals, but he had a lot of heart and just is a real sweet kid.

"T Swift should stick to sitting down performances, minus the hair flips. Even her hair and makeup were tastefully done for once."

She sang one of her slower songs, and was just at the piano the whole time, and didn't have crazy hair or makeup or outfits, and no crazy background dancers or dance moves. But then she did these crazy hair flips (she's so effing dramatic) and then I was like.... Ugh. But for the most part, it was ok. 

"I can't even... @Pink is so amazing. Her vocals, her lyrics, her dance technique, all flawless. Proud to be a fan."

P!nk sang "Try" while doing some crazy air acrobatics, and then did part of the dance from her music video for that song. And then Nate Ruess came out and started sing his part of "Give Me a Reason" and they dueted and it was awesome. All of it was awesome. I think P!nk is beautiful and powerful and has a great voice and I just love her.

"Loved seeing the Vocal Point music video for their cover of Brave on the #grammys during the nomincations for best pop solo performance. #byu"

So they started this thing that when the were showing the nominations they showed cover music videos instead of the original artist's video. And obviously they showed Vocal Point's video and it was so awesome.

Also, I didn't see this live, but Macklemore and Ryan Lewis sang their song One Love, and then Queen Latifah came out and married 35 couples (homo- and heterosexual) and at first I thought it was dumb, and then it was actually kind of sweet (except for it was still weird because it was the Grammys) but mostly I liked it. Because good for them.

So there you go.
My thoughts on the 2014 Grammy awards.

Just a Random

Oh hey.

I haven't posted over here in a while.

Life is good.

We found out we're having a baby BOY.
We had an awesome time in California.
We had a good Thanksgiving and Christmas.
We visited Utah and got things for baby boy.

And I'm 29 weeks along which basically seems surreal to me. Baby is big enough that is when he stretches or jabs or pokes, I can feel it stretching me and it hurts. In a week or two he'll probably have grown big enough that I won't be feeling the rolling movements anymore, and will just feel more and more kicks and punches instead. The last few days he's like to hang out on the left side, right up under my ribs. So... That's been fun. But at least he hasn't been kicking my ribs yet.

I can't believe that in 11 or so short weeks I am going to be a  mother. I've wanted to be a mother my whole life and it's practically here. HO. LY. CRAP.

I have been feeling really blessed that I am going to be able to stay home with this little guy once he gets here. I know it might not always be that way, and that we would be doing a little better if I could work for a while longer, but we will make it work right now. I am so grateful that I have such an awesome husband who is such a hard worker and makes it possible for me to do this. He is seriously the best.

I am so excited and a little nervous and know I don't really know what I'm in for, especially the first few days/weeks/months but I know whatever happens, it will all be worth it. I can't wait to look my little guy in the eyes and snuggle and love him.

I still am paranoid all the time that something is going to go wrong. But I know whatever happens it will be ok. But I am still praying for a healthy little guy to make his appearance. I won't even be angry if he comes a little early. Whenever he comes I hope he's ok.



In other news, we are still teaching the CTR 5 class in Primary and it's hilarious. I love the things these kids come up with each week. Kyle just got a new calling (but hasn't been sustained yet) which will take him away from our Primary calling. I am kind of hoping that they will release me, since I don't think I can keep up with our crazy little boys in that class by myself. But I guess we'll see!


So yeah. That's what's happening right now. Lots of thoughts about our little guy. Still haven't decided 100% on a name, but we will probably just wait until he's born for that final decision.
I'll tell you a little secret though.
We'll probably name him Abraham. And call him Abe.
But. We'll see.


And hopefully I can remember to start blogging my randoms over here more.
Because sometimes I have funny thoughts.

Currently

I'm sitting here on our loveseat, while Kyle is in the kitchen attempting to make homemade tomato soup. I say attempting, because neither of us knows how it's going to turn out, and also he's making it from watching a video recipe. I am not sure if he's even using measurements. But so far it smells good, so there's that. Also, yesterday, I attempted to be a homemaker by making chocolate chip zucchini bread. It tastes good, but took a lot longer in the oven than it was supposed to, resulting in a hard crust. And I also put in a lot of chocolate chips (Kyle said it was too many) and most of them sunk to the bottom, become part of that crust. So... That was kind of a fail. The recipe itself is really good though, and I've made it in muffins before, so I think I'll stick with muffins. My breads (pumpkin, zucchini) always turn out soggy and undercooked in the middle no matter what I do. So. Muffins it is!



I'm currently 18 weeks along, and we find out the gender of our baby next week. I'm hoping it's still alive in there. I know that sounds weird, but I legitimately worry that it' snot going to make it. I'm paranoid, I guess you could say. Although I have been feeling what I think is the baby move. And also my belly is growing, so all signs point to a living baby. During the anatomy scan is when they check baby out and make sure it is growing properly and healthily so I hope everything looks good. Of course, even if our baby is not 100% healthy, we will love it and care for it and raise it. Don't you worry about that.


I'm really happy to be able to do stuff again instead of sitting  on the couch feeling sick to my stomach 24/7. Thanks, first trimester for ending.


In NON BABY  news, we go to California in 3 weeks. I'm am mainly so excited to see my freaking cute niece and my twin baby boys! Obviously they are nephews, not mine, and they are two, so not babies, but whatever. I love them so much. Oh. And see Blaine and Brooke, too. And eat at Chick-Fil-A. AND THEN we get to go to Anaheim, and Disneyland, and Ayisha is coming to meet us and it will be SO FUN. As you can tell by my excessively use of caps.


So. There's an update for this companion blog of mine that no one reads. But I am really glad I have it. Except sometimes I forget that it exists, so sorry, blog.

Some Thoughts on the "Ordain Women" Movement

I keep trying to organize my thoughts about this whole "Ordain Women" movement. And I'm having a really hard time. For the  most part, I don't agree with what they are doing. BUT I do feel for the women who are genuinely trying to find their place in this church. I wrote a blog post here on my other blog about how I felt sad about the wear pants to church event. I have a few acquaintances who are struggling and I have read their blog and facebook posts and am trying to understand their point of view. Granted,  I think there are also some in the  movement who are just trying to rile people up, but not all of them are that way.

I read this article today, and would definitely recommend it. I think the author makes some good points.

The founder of the movement says that women are ready for the priesthood. To which I respond, I am sure not! It is only a handful of women who are involved in this movement, and who are they to speak for the whole body of women of the Church? I also think, even if they/we think we are ready, Heavenly Father really knows if we are, He is all knowing, and keeps some doctrine from us that He knows we aren't ready to learn and do yet.

He (the author of the article I linked above) quotes a Church News writer, who in turn quotes Elder Ballard. I'd like to write the quote, here. (Phrases in quotation marks are the words of Elder Ballard.) (Bolded emphasis is my own.)

Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by a husband and wife. . . . “Why are men ordained to the priesthood offices and not women? . . . When all is said and done, the Lord has not revealed why He has organized His Church as He has.” Women are integral to the governance and work of the Church. “Let us not forget that approximately one-half of all of the teaching that takes place in the Church is done by sisters. . . . Much of the leadership provided is from our sisters.”

Men and women are equal in God’s eyes and in the eyes of the Church, but equal does not mean that they are the same. Although responsibilities and divine gifts of men and women differ in their nature, they do not differ in their importance or influence. “It takes a man and a woman to create a family, and it takes men and women to carry out the work of the Lord in the Church.”

When men and women go to the temple, they are both endowed with the same power, which is by definition priesthood power. “All who enter the house of the Lord officiate in the ordinances of the priesthood. This applies to men and women alike.”

That is what I believe. I believe that we are all equal, but that equal does not mean "the same". I believe that both the procreative power and the priesthood power must and is shared between a man and a woman, husband and wife. We learn so much in the Temple, and I believe that this is taught there. Some say that women do not have authority in the Church. I don't believe that. Women carry many leadership roles, and have for years. Again, we have different roles, but we can all be leaders. He also quotes Sheri Dew, and I loved what she had to say. (Again, bolded emphasis is my own.)

“Sisters, some will try to persuade you that because you are not ordained to the priesthood, you have been shortchanged. They are simply wrong, and they do not understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. The blessings of the priesthood are available to every righteous man and woman. We may all receive the Holy Ghost, obtain personal revelation, and be endowed in the temple, from which we emerge ‘armed’ with power. The power of the priesthood heals, protects, and inoculates all of the righteous against the powers of darkness. Most significantly, the fullness of the priesthood contained in the highest ordinances of the house of the Lord can be received only by a man and woman together.”

We need to work together, in our different roles, and help and lean on each other.

Some have said, maybe the Lord or the Church leaders haven't revealed or asked about certain things because they have not been asked. I can see that logic, to a degree. Our Church was brought back to the Earth because a 14 year old boy had a question and took it to His Father in prayer. A majority of the sections in the Doctrine and Covenants came from Saints asking questions of Joseph Smith. But that doesn't necessarily mean that that is how revelation always comes. We believe and sustain Thomas S Monson and his counselors as prophets, seers, and revelators. Is is, essentially, their job to communicate with the Lord and teach us His doctrine. It is our job to listen and believe and do what they ask, because they speak as if they were God.

I am not saying that asking questions is wrong. Asking questions can be a huge part of the building up of our own testimony. But we do not need to nit-pick at every little thing in our history or in the doctrine, or wonder why something is or is not the way we would like it to be. That is when we must exercise FAITH and believe that we will some day learn and know all these things as God knows it. We are simply not ready for it, here in our mortal bodies, with our mortal mind. We are not able to comprehend all things right now, nor do we need to.

I am also not saying that we need to be complacent. I am not suggesting that we ideally sit by, or that we blindly follow the prophet. What I am saying is that we need to exercise our faith, and gain testimony of the truths we do have on the Earth today, and that we should follow those truths and doctrines to the best of our abilities.
The author of the article quotes this phrase, "Never lose faith in the things you know, because of the things you don't know."
I know there are many questions yet to be answered, and many things that have not yet been revealed to us, but we must "trust in the Lord with all [our hearts] and lean not under [our] own understanding."


I want to close with the quote that this author closed with, which is one I had never heard before. In his notes he cites it from a devotional given at BYU in 2010, by Elder Glenn L. Pace.

“Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and you look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny.”

How beautiful. We need not worry about what the world thinks about our "inequality", we need not worry about sameness. We have different roles for a reason. But together, we can be made perfect in God, and go on to create our own worlds, with our spouses, together. And that is really what all this is about.

A caveat:
Some will say, what about women who are unable to bear children, or who don't have the opportunity to get married in this life? To them I say, our God is a just and merciful God. He will make all things right. Though those trials may be hard in this life, if we keep the commandments and keep our covenants, God WILL make things right. No ifs, ands or buts. If you don't believe that, you do not understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

One more note:
Our stake president in Pocatello spoke on the equality of men and women, and women's divine nature, in the Church twice while I was in the stake. One of my favorite things he said is that because of women's divine nature we are LITERAL partners of Heavenly Father. He didn't delve into that, but I think it is a beautiful thing. He then said that before men can be literal partners, they must be set apart with the priesthood. Again, he didn't go deep into that but he also said that we make covenants in the Temple, by the priesthood, and we are then in partnership with our husband - and with the priesthood. Even though our husband's "hold" the priesthood, they CANNOT have eternal life without us. We are partners in every sense of the word.

GATSBY

I finally saw Gatsby. It came to the dollar theater the week I was moving, so I was able to go to a late night showing of it with Shae. 

HOLY COW IT WAS SO GOOD.

Brief side note:

Back in the Titanic days, I didn't love Leo. You know how he used to be called Leo DeCRAPrio? Guilty. Don't hate on me. (And let's be honest I still loved the crap out of Titanic, because really, it's Titanic.) But I didn't love him. I thought he was kind of weird and awkward looking and had no love. THEN Inception came out in... Looking it up... 2010?! And I fell in love. With him and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love Inception so much you don't even know. Anyway. Ever since then I've really enjoyed him and his movies, even his old stuff. Ok.

So. Even when I just heard of the casting I thought it was perfect, and then the trailer came out and I was floored. And then seeing the movie was incredible. I loved how they never showed Gatsby's face until the party and he turns around and there are fireworks and he just is perfect and I loved it so much.

Everything that had to do with Gatsby was perfect in this film. Leo could do no wrong. He got every emotion, every phrase, perfect. It was an impeccable performance. Wow.

Moving on to other aspects I enjoyed. I REALLY liked Carey Mulligan as Daisy. She did a great job as well. Some people think that Daisy is a shallow, easy to play character, and while I agree to some degree... I think there is a little more to Daisy than that and I think Carey did a great job in her acting that portrayed a little of her under the surface personality and emotions.

Let's be honest I enjoyed MOST of the characters. Tom was great, as was Jordan. All the other more minor characters were wonderful as well.

The only weakness to this masterpiece? 

Tobey Maguire. I've never loved him. He is not attractive, has a strange voice, and strange acting tendencies. He looks like a lost and/or bewildered puppy the majority of the film and I just didn't love him. It's a shame he's the narrator. But, I suppose I didn't love him too much in the book, either, so that's how it goes. No matter how much I didn't enjoy that casting - it didn't really bring down the movie for me. 

I suppose the only other thing I didn't enjoy from the movie was the directly borrowing of scenes from Moulin Rouge!. I love that movie. I understand that both films are made by Baz Luhrman and so there will be similarities but the scenes of Nick furiously typing away direct bring back images of Christian doing the same. I didn't love that.

I understand why they did what they did with the story (i.e. put Nick in a sanitarium) and I can appreciate that, although it is in no way part of the book.

I loved the parties. Oh, the parties. I loved the music. It was perfect and chilling and wonderful. 

I so enjoyed the scene of (SPOILER) Gatsby's death - inlaid with the phone calls, that show up to his death he had hope for Daisy and her call. Perfect.

I might mention that we read this book in my honors English class, junior year. Mr. Rich was a young, energetic teacher, and we loved him. He brought the story to life, and, let's be honest, we analyzed the crap out of it. I've loved it ever since, and each time I read it I love it more and get more out of it. I think this film did it great justice, and really pulls you into the book and shows it to you, which shouldn't a great film adaptation do? After all, the text of The Great Gatsby is mostly text and description, and this movie, again, captured all the little details and really made you see the book. 

I will stop with my typing and leave it at this.

I loved this movie. It lived up to my expectations. I would give it an A rating for sure. (Perhaps an A-, for the sheer fact that Tobey Maguire is in it.)

(Also, if you haven't read the book and don't know what to expect, I can't promise you you'll
like it. I just can't.)

BTW - HERE is a great review that I would recommend, I really enjoyed it.

Also, if you like YA lit as well as The Great Gatsby, you should check out the book Jake, Reinvented, by Gordon Korman. It's a loose modern day adaptation of Gatsby, set in a high school. It's worth a read.

Some Ramblings

I haven't written in a while, blah, blah, blah.
This is my random blog, so it's ok.



....

Cory Monteith died. Yes, homeboy from GLEE. Finn Hudson, I love you. I am so so sad. I think they said it looks like an OD, and he only got out of rehab in April and what is everyone going to do without Cory... Or without Finn? Glee will never be the same again.


Oh, and by the way. Kyle and I are moving. To Coeur d'Alene. In two weeks. Whaaaaaaaa??? I am so excited and grateful he got a job, but what is going on? We still need to find a place to live. And I'm trying to see all my bff peeps before we go. And we're going to Utah. And we also planned a trip to Jackson and Yellowstone the week/end before we move because we're cool like that. SO MANY THINGS TO DO. But it will be awesome.
And luckily my BFF Isha is willing to pay for a flight to come see me. So that's awesome. I love her.


I love Sonic shakes. Like so much, you don't even know. Kyle "made" me walk to the pillars last night (if you don't know what they are, that's ok, just know it's a bit of a hike up a mountain) and I almost died. But not really, I can do hard things, y'all.
But then Shaeli came and got me and we got shakes and had girl time and freaked out over Grey's and it was wonderful and what am I going to do without my shake and girl time?
I will make new friends.
I'm quite practiced at that.


I just want to find a (good) place to liveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.