A Rant.

I kind of have a rant.

Sometimes people (mostly dating and engaged people) are like, "OMG I can't wait to be married because then I will be with my hubby all the time and it will be so great."
Or, alternately (from the same people) I hear something like, "When I get married we're both going to be so busy and will never see each other and it will be so hard, boohoo."


Ok.
Let me first say this. Being married is much better than being dating or engaged because you are finally done with the roommate stage in life, and it is awesome to not have to say "good-night".


Ok.
Once you get married, you will probably see each other less. This is not a joke or an exaggeration. Especially if one or both of you are still in school.
Kyle graduated right before we got married, and soon after got a full-time job at a treatment center. His generally worked the swing shift, which was 3-11pm. He worked one graveyard a week, which was 11pm-7am. And occasionally he would work the day shift, which was 7am-3pm. He worked weekends. He worked occasional Sundays.
I was in school, still, and worked 20 hours a week. So I was generally gone 8am-6pm.
So that was for our first 15 months of marriage.

And then Kyle started graduate school and was gone all hours of the day for classes, practicum, internship, and he worked a few hours a week the second year, too. And I had a management position at my job, so I was working 8am-5pm technically, but was often at work until 6 or 7pm.
And so that was our next 2 years of marriage.

So. Did we see each other a lot? Yes and no. Some days, weeks, months were better. Others we hardly saw each other at all except saying good night, or good morning. Did we survive? Of course we did. THERE IS NOT A CHOICE TO NOT SURVIVE. Just because you are busy doesn't mean your marriage will fail. Just because you are busy doesn't mean you hate each other. You have to do what you have to do to make it work.

Now that Kyle is graduated and I am staying at home - is it easier? ...... Yes and no. It's nice that he has a normal schedule, and it's nice that I can actually be at home during the day to clean and actually make dinner and go grocery shopping. If we were being very technical, I should probably go out and get a job, to help with finances. And if I did that we might see each other less. And there are so many other variables that make things "easier" or "harder". Once our baby comes I will be busier and maybe our house will not be as clean for a while and maybe homemade dinners will become a thing of the past for a while, and all of our attention will be on baby and we will feel like we don't see each other, even though we are spending the same amount of time with each other. Each stage of life has hardships and things to keep you busy and I don't think it ever will get "easier".

Does this rant even make sense? Probably not.
I might revisit this post a little later to make more sense of my ramblings.
But it is what it is right now.